Whenever you think something, do something, feel something or believe something, neurons in your brain line up and create pathways called neuro-synaptic pathways. The more you repeat a certain thought, action, belief or feeling the thicker the pathway becomes. The thicker the pathway gets, the easier the behavior becomes to do. The easier it becomes to do, the more we repeat it. The more we repeat it, the thicker the pathway gets and the pattern repeats itself again and again.
Imagine waking up everyday thinking how you want to be a respected leader and how you want people to willingly follow you because they love and admire you. Now see yourself going to work and ordering people around and telling them what to do and trying to control every outcome. In this scenario you are getting better at two things, neither of which will make you a better leader. First you are getting better at wanting to be a respected leader and second you are getting better at, ordering, telling and controlling. If you want to be a better leader. You have to regularly practice listening deeply and inspiring your followers to do amazing work and allow them to control their own destiny. Then they will respect, love and admire you. This simple shift is a profound coaching tool that creates sustainable and empowering change. Lets look at a few more examples.
Wanting to be wealthy makes you better at wanting to be wealthy, it doesn’t make you wealthy. If you want to become wealthy, you need to do things that wealthy people do, invest your money, follow the stock market, or purchase real estate. If you argue with people regularly, you are getting better at arguing. If you practice listening to people, if you practice finding common ground, you get better at getting along with people.
If you dream about a great life partner and you spend your time at home watching TV, you’re getting better at fantasizing about a great life partner and staying home watching TV. If you want a great life partner you need to practice being the person that a great life partner would be attracted to.